She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
