Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
