She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
