Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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