your parents love me but you hate me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
