How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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