yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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