I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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