I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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