Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
