Tell her she can't have a vagina
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
