Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
