why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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