So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
