she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
