actually, I'm a sock model
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
