TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
