Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
