how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
