i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
