i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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