that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
