is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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