You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
