am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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