My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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