well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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