whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
two words...techno handjob
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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