I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
