I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
