Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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