I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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