i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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