I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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