In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
