u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
