Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
40s are totally the cure
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
