I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
