He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
