god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
