dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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