this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
