You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
