You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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