Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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