Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
