Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
