If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
