David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
