checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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