Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
im calling her cock vulture from now on
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
