Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
